“and now i curse you for being so sweet and so kind…”

Falling apart…

Breaking down…

Yet again…

Don’t ask me why…

I won’t answer…

I’ll just put up a smile…

“Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again”

PART I: So I suddenly stopped dead on my tracks and said ‘gaga ka kasi!’ (referring to self). Haaay… I never seem to learn. Learn what I hear you say?! Learn to hold back, learn to set boundaries, learn that not everything equates to ‘okay lang’. Feels like I always end up doing things, accepting things as they come because I live by the phrase ‘okay lang’. Just lately I realized that not everything settles for the ‘okay lang’ clause. Just because things are ‘okay lang’ with me doesn’t mean that they also are for other people. (now this entry is getting weird.. tsktsk!) At times, I feel that I end up hurting other people just because it has no bearing with me. (no bearing huh?! Really?! Yeah right! or I just refuse to believe that there actually is a meaning to all that.. tsktsk again! ) Other times, I myself get hurt because I pretend that it’s ‘okay lang’ when in fact it really is not. Haaay…

PART II: Ayan, ikaw kasi! Nadala aku ng kakulitan mu.. nung una wala lang.. tamang usap usap lang tayo pag nagkikita.. tamang friendship-friendshipan lang.. pero baket ngayun parang iba na? Baket parang close na tayo? (nagfi-feeling nanaman aku! tsktsk! tingin ku lang ba un o ganun na talaga? Hehehe..) ngayun kasi palagi na kitang kinakausap (in any way na pwede since wala naman kameng IM! Hehehe.. ) kahet na minsan lang tayo nagkikita.. wala lang.. aliw ka kasi kausap chaka kasama e.. KULET mu nga kasi! Parehas tayo! Hahaha! Sana ikaw din po nageenjoy! Hehehe.. haaaay.. kaya pag nagiisip kung……. yan, bigla tuloy akung na-sad.. kaw kasi e! *sabay kurot sa braso*

PART III: Aalis kame in a while! Woohoooo! kasama ku sila nanah, ryan, jhude, jet at ang nadaan sa pilit na si mona! Hehe.. after a long while makakalabas aku with friends! Dinner-nuod sine-kopi daw ang balak. Parang default na team building activities! Hahaha! haaay.. aku kahet anu! Makalabas lang! ayaw pa nilang umalis kaya nakakapagblog pa ku! tas bukas, makakapagbadminton na aku ule after 10 years! yeeeeey! Ang saya! tas sa Sunday daw e pupunta kame either sa tagaytay or uwe kame province! (pero mukhang tagaytay! Tsktsk) weeeeee! Buhay na ulit aku! Hehehe!

reminder to kAykAy: wag mu kalimutang magreview ha! Mayayari ka nanaman nyan pag di ka nagprepare! Tsktsk!

*** by request ang title kasi daming nagtatanung kung baket wala pa daw akung bagung entry! Hehehe..

Hmm.. di ku alam kung nasasabi ku na saio to pero super THANK YOU po kasi lagi kang nandyan for me.. na kahet anung oras kita bulabugin or istorbohin, ok lang saio.. it means a lot to me po.. you always seem to know the right words to say to make me feel better, to drive away my fears, to comfort me.. at times, believe it or not, without even saying a word.. ung tipong alam ku lang na andyan ka e ok na ku.. I have nothing to fear or to worry about.. at kahet walang ka kwenta kwenta ung mga pinagsasabi ku e pinagtya-tyagaan mu ku.. di lahat nakakatagal saken.. kaya nga bilib aku saio e! hehehe, kasi natatagalan mu ku! Hahaha! :) (alam mu na kayang ikaw tong tinutukoy ku?! Tsktsk.. )

Basta, SALAMAT PO!  *super hugz*

*** Wag ka na pong malungkot.. bilis lang un! tsktsk..

After working for many hours, I went straight home around 530 am to get my things for the ABC tournament. (when I say many, believe me I’m talking about more than the normal hours.. *wink*) Around 630, I got home, slept for about 10 minutes (takte desperado matulog e! hahaha!), took a bath (tigas ng ulo! Sabi ng maraming namamatay sa pasma e! hehehe!), packed my things and the next thing I knew, I was already on my way back to makati to meet ahya in MSE. (adik nga naman?! Tsktsk!)

First game: We lost two sets to nothing! Darn, I can’t believe we lost to that team! Hindi makatarungan un! Poste ung babae! Hahaha! Call me conceited but I really thought that we could have beaten that team. haaaay.. sayang talaga! Maybe it’s because it was our first game and we haven’t had a feel of the real thing yet.

Second game: We lost on the first and third set. The opponents got the first set. We got the second, at tinambakan namen sila! We were pumped up! We had the momentum. But it changed during the third set. Pressure got the best of us so we lost. Note to self and to joven: control emotions when inside the court! At least this team was worth the loss, the girl was good. The guy was ok. Hehe..

Third and Last game: Naman o, sila Jhude pa ung kalaban namen! Feels weird to go against a friend. Pero empre, do what you gotta do ang drama naming 3! Hehe.. We lost the first set but it was a close one, forgot the exact scores but I’m pretty sure they were really close, matter of 3 points? (tama ba ku?) We won the second set. We had long rallies – dropshots, smashes and quick returns galore. Hehe.. Third set belonged to jhude and lee. We lost, again on the third set after playing a really good set previously. (Haaay, joven, CHOKER talaga tayo! Hehehe! Wala sa vocabulary naten ang momentum!) Nice game!

Yeah, we didn’t win any game but I’m really proud of how we played. I myself was surprised on how good joven and I played that day. No regrets. Playing for level 10 on our first tournament, I guess it wasn’t that bad. Right?

Thanks Joven, the best partner ka! Thanks mark for practicing with me, it paid off! I was able to apply the techniques you taught me, especially the smash. (Konting practice na lang magkasing galing na tayo! Hehehe!) Thanks jet for the practice last Saturday at 650. I was able to work on my reflexes. (Feeling ku bumilis ung kilos ku nun! Saka napractice ung mga drop shots ku! Hehe..) Thanks to those who cheered for us! Hehe.. kahet talo kame andyan pa rin kayo.. Thanks to all the teams who played against us! (special mention to jhude and lee, ang ganda nung game! Hehehe.. would have watched the replay if there was one!) Thanks to ABC for giving me my first badminton tournament.

* my roomies (ryan and aldrin) for the strawberry yogurt.. <this is all I get for sacrificing my share for the breakfast buffet!?! Hehehe.. >

* ahya and abby for ‘lunching out’ with me.. thanks for sharing your lunches with me.. <opo, madalas isa akung MH sa kanilang 2! Magandang Hadlang! >

* oscar for the comment.. <I hate to admit it but it’s true! =p>

* gia for the chocolates.. <yum-yum >

* jhude for the trip to Starbucks.. <after 10,000 years, it’s nice to have a tall caramel macchiato.. pwede sa susunod libre na?! hahahaha! >

* my dad for the dinner.. <empre sa jipan, default Japanese resto of the family! >

* roslyn for the note on my board.. <ayiii! Excited! >

* allan for the chocolate chip cupcake.. <hopefully it will keep me awake throughout the night.. >

* mark for your stories.. <enjoy aku sobra! kung wala lang talaga kung trabaho, umoo na ku sa yaya mu! Hahaha! >

* nanah for the ‘chikahan’.. <nasabe na naten lahat! Un lang! hahaha! >

Working alone.. late at night ‘til early morning.. good thing I have nickelback to keep me company.. (yep, I have finally decided to treat myself with the album.. my reward for working late at night, working in the wee hours of the morning, working all day.. in short, working day in day out! Hehe.. ) it feels weird working alone in a big but empty office.. but somehow, I got used to it coz we’ve been doing it for a number of times now these past few days.. <playing on the background: far away.. can’t help but heave a sigh every time I hear the song.. ‘And I miss you.. Been far away for far too long..’>With this extremely grueling schedule we’re having, I can’t help but miss A LOT of things.. :( I may have gone through this months back but still, I can’t help but yearn for things that I usually do/had before.. and besides I used to do this with a couple of my peers.. but now, I’m home (I now officially call the office home because I spend more than 3/4 of my day here.. ), ALONE.. (although I may want to count the guard sitting outside our area.. NOT! =p)

Missing:

* My room.. more specifically my bed.. (although the room that I am using now in our apartment is really nice and I have it all to myself.. the point though is that I haven’t used it for more than 4 hours?!)

* Watching tv.. (this is one of the things that keeps me up late  at night.. I literally have to turn the freakin’ television off for me to fall asleep! Hehe..:))

* My dad (who’s really upset because he barely sees me nowadays), my mom (who makes me eat breakfast even though I’m really late for work) and my brother (who picks me up a few blocks away from our house when I go home late) <things they do for their only daughter/sister>

* The Omen.. (I really want to watch the movie.. sad to say that my schedule cannot accommodate it..:( but I promised myself that I’d watch it next week whenever a slot gets freed up in my sched.. anyone wanna watch it with me?! )

* Starbucks.. (I am now passing up coffee opportunities because I can’t leave my desk for more than 5 minutes! Hehehe.. time is really that crucial nowadays that I can’t even afford to go to the next building and buy myself a decent coffee..)

* Instant Messengers.. (this is probably one of the hardest things I had to get used to.. especially now that I am working late at night, alone, with no one to talk to.. IM's have now been officially disabled in all of our workstations.. haaaay..)

* My friends.. (with the IM’s gone and tons of work to do, I have trimmed down communication with them.. sorry guys.. make it up to you when things get better..)

* SLEEP.. (definitely miss it.. A LOT!)

* My baby.. (all there is to say..)

naiinis aku! naiinis aku sa isang bagay na di ku naman dapat kainisan kasi di naman aku involved sa nangyayari. pero naiinis pa din aku! oo na! nangengelam nanaman aku! kontra bida nanaman aku! lagi naman e! naiinis lang aku kasi di mu man lang naiisip kung anu ung nararamdaman ng ibang tao. sarili mu lang kasi ung iniisip mu e… lagi! pag sarili mu ung pinagtatanggol mu feeling mu kalaban mu buong mundo. pero pag ikaw na ung nakakatapak ng ibang tao, wala kang pakialam. haaaay. pasalamat ka mabait ung mga taong nakapaligid saio. di kikibo yang mga yan. kung aku yan, haaaaaaay!!! ewan ku! basta nakakainis! aku na lang ang magsasabi on behalf of the people involved. Nakakainis!

<hirap magsulat ng entry pag sobrang filtered!!!>

(!!!)  the omen

(!!!)  the breakup

(?!)  pirates of the caribbean

(–)  scary movie 4

(!!!)  superman

(–)  the fast and the furious 3: tokyo drift

(–)  the lake house

(!!!)  click

I can’t seem to turn off the light. I already know where the switch is. I can easily get a hold of it. So what’s keeping me from turning off the light? Every time I reach for it, something’s telling me to just leave it on. Sometimes I just want to let it be; sometimes I really want to shut it. Can somebody turn it off for me? Should I turn it off? Or should I leave it on?

Working for 21 hours straight has never been this engaging. Yes I was dead tired from clicking keys, staring at my screen and racking my brain for fixes (not counting the jumping around when I become sleepy). Nevertheless, I was able to have fun. How? Simple! The people I work with are fun to be with. I was making ‘daldal’ and singing to the tunes erwin was playing the whole night. OPM songs mostly. Eraserheads songs mostly. Tsktsk! That’s why I think I had a sore throat the morning after. =) I really have to hand it to erwin and Aldrin and Jun (plus Manny?!) for making an overnight’s load of work enjoyable.

Pack-up time: 6:00 am. I went home immediately not to sleep mind you. I went home to get my things so I can play badminton! Haha! =) call me an addict all you want I don’t give a ****! Hehe.. =) anyway, when i got home, i had a little chit-chat with my mom about this ‘thing’ i just learned.. (details of this ‘thing’ to follow *wink*) I had breakfast, took a shower (am I killing myself or what?! Hehe.. =)), prepared my things then off to
Makati.

Stopped by @ Libran so Mark and I can go together to Club 650. A set of ‘kwento-kwento’ on the way. =)

Road Block: Club 650

Met Joven and Jay. First time I saw, Joven’s youngest brother. Hehe.. =) We’re supposed to play there but there’s an on-going tournament so we decided to change the venue. Mark suggested this court he saw a few blocks away.

Detour: Olympic

Changed outfit then played with the three boys. Hehe.. All boys kame?! Waaah!!!=) (no name droppings pero dapat di kita bati nung araw na un! And you know why! =p) Bitin SOBRA! Mark and I played for only 2 hours coz we had to go to some place else. So after playing, the four of us had lunch and then off we (Mark and I) went to our next destination.

Fast Forward: Philippine Badminton Open @ ULTRA

Mark got us tickets to the Semis of the Phil. Badminton Open! YEEEY! =) I was able to watch players from different Asian countries. I saw Kennie and Kennevic Asuncion. I had a great time watching these people play. Now I really want to be good at the sport. Hehehe! =) Thanks Mark ‘Pogi’ for that experience! Next year ule!!! =) (Although andame ata nateng namiss sa kakadaldal at kakakwento! Nyahaha! Pero super enjoy po talaga aku promise! Saka salamat po for trusting me with your stories! *wink*) (Nakapanuod aku ng replay sa Solar! Nakita ku tayo! Hahaha! =))

Pit Stop: Teriyaki Boy @ Megamall
Para makabayad sa utang ku kay Mark, I decided to treat him to dinner. And since I think we both love Japanese Food, we opted to eat in Teriyaki Boy. *kain-kain* and *kwento-kwento* Solve! Hehe.. =)

Haaay.. super saya! As in! Un lang masabi ku! =) Salamat po sa lahat who made my weekend amazing! =)