Ever felt robbed un-literally?

Un-literally – (an-lit-e-ra-lee) adv, opposite of literally; not really; not actually

Here’s the deal. There’s this concept which I thought of thousands of weeks back. The moment it hit me, I eagerly made kwento to my closest friends. Actually, to date, I was able to tell the idea to just 3 persons. Person #1 was totally into it. Person #2 felt the same way. Person #3 mocked me because I was so excited that I already thought of all the possible scenarios. I was blurting out all the details I can think of sabay bawe na kunyare hindi ku nipagisipan. Empre, he did not buy it! Haha! I’m not sure if he was just making fun of me or what. Then again, he knew I was determined to get my point across.

Days passed..

And a few more..

I was talking to this gurl and she asked me a question. I was SO surprised coz she told me that the answer to her question was my idea (refer to previous paragraph). But there’s a catch. She was telling me that the idea was from another person. And it was supposed to be a BIG secret. My jaw dropped. I was like WTF?! All the details she was telling me were on my list!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not after any credit for the so-called original ‘concept’. I just felt bad because I was so excited about it only to find out that it will indeed push through pero hindi dahil naisip ku. Admittedly, mababaw sobra! I know! I just felt na wala din palang kwenta lahat ng naisip ku. Because apparently, someone had exactly the same idea as mine! Nice noh?! <place sarcasm here> At isa pa, I felt bad that the 3 people I told the ‘idea’ to knew that it was going to happen. None of the three said a thing to me about it. None of them told me that another person suggested the SAME thing. None of them mentioned that I had that idea way back.

I don’t know the whole story. And I’m not interested. I don’t want to hear it. And I’m no longer excited. So much for my creativity.

There I said it. Finally, I can breathe.

I am slowly getting addicted to online shopping. Crap! This is the easiest way to watch all your savings go down the drain. 1 minute you have a couple of bucks in your ever dependable Visa. The next thing you know, you’re already getting an email invoice and you’re being charged for all the whoozits and whatzits. Damn! I badly need to control this addiction before it gets out of hand! Tsktsk!

** whoozits and whatzits is brought to you by my all-time favorite Disney movie: The Little Mermaid.

Of all the contraptions I bought through the web, the latest has got to be the bestEST. Peeps, meet my new Kensington Si750m LE Pink 3 Buttons 1 x Wheel USB 2.4GHz Wireless Laser Notebook Mouse.

Yup, it’s a measly mouse… to some but definitely not to me. I’m a completely satisfied customer. After seeing the pix online, I told myself that I need to get a hold of that. It’s wireless, small and handy (I can carry it anywhere with my tx.). It has a sleek design (It looks really cute and fits my hand comfortably.). It has a nice color (Metallic Pink Finish, nuff said! =)). It comes with a cute little black pouch (to protect the mouse inside the bag while travelling). It automatically turns itself off when stowed. Sweet! =)

BUT WAIT, THERE’s MORE! I consider this my bestEST splurge because of the ‘Click for a Cause’. This mouse is tagged with ‘Go Red for women’ meaning proceeds from this particular model will go to a Heart Association to help combat heart disease among women. Now, that’s what makes this the bestEST! =)

… yup naglunch po aku kanina. Matino. Although wala akung gana kumain. Pero I know I have to eat. Not because I want to but because I have to. Konti lang pero enough to last me through the day.

… I got home at around 7pm. Gusto ku pa nga sana magstay sa office to work. Kaso I am so darn distracted I can’t think straight. I was able to work nung medyo maaga aga pa. Pero nung aku na lang magisa sa office, I lost it. Mapapraning lang aku pag di pa ku umuwe. So I did.

… nag gym aku for almost an hour. Normal threadmill, weights and crunches routine. Eto na lang gagawen kung therapy. At least kahet magpakaadik aku sa gym, positive pa din ung result.

… not planning on eating dinner. Di naman aku gutom at wala din akung gana.

… I’m having headaches every afternoon. Nasestrain ata masyadu mata ku. I think I need to have my eyes checked when I get back. Hirap na ku magbasa pag medyo malayo. I need to wear my glasses every day.

… aside from the afternoon headaches, sumusumpong nanaman chest pains ku. Ganun ba talaga un? Pag marami ka masyadung iniisip, sumasaket/sumisikip ung dibdib mu? Not sure if that’s the reason or sumthing else. Sana ung that reason na lang kesa sumthing else para pag tapus na tong phase ng kapraningan ku, wala na uli sya.

Well, I’m hoping you’re wondering…

It doesn’t hurt to hope, right?

On the contrary, it does…

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, I rate myself as a:
Maldita = 10 (Yeah, yeah. I can be a mean little bitch if I want to. Try me! Kung nakakamatay lang ang panlalait, I would be behind bars by now guilty of mass murder. Tsktsk!)
Makulit = 10 (In every way possible. I can go on and on all day.)
Mababaw = 10 (Doesn’t take much to make me laugh or smile.)
Malambing = ?? (Rating still up in the air.)
Ma-artie = 10 (Not really the kikay type. This is more in the context of ‘mahilig mag-inarte’.)
Mataray = 10 (But never a ‘suplada’.)

In a span of less than a week, I was able to appreciate the real you. I know, I know. I can hear your violent objections even though I’m a thousand miles away. Six words – I don’t care what you think. I know for a fact that you momentarily unlocked your defenses. Unintentional? Yeah I think so. I know you’re way too scared to let anyone in. But geez, I’m so darn stubborn to give up on you that easily. And I have a feeling by now you know that. =) With all the ‘argh’s I have been reading lately? Believe me I have an idea on how persistent I can get. Haha! That’s a nice way of putting it. Persistent. Love it. I’ll keep that in mind. =)

You ain’t that bad I’m telling you. Come to think of it, You ain’t bad period! You can be an ass IF you want to. You bully the ‘little children’, you mess with their stuff, you advertise them in every outrageous way possible, and a mile-long list goes on. But I think the more appropriate way of saying it is you are a lunatic! Haha! Harsh! =) Seriously, you just enjoy having a good laugh every now and then. Erase that. You enjoy a good laugh most, if not all, of the time. Better. Way better. And ‘correct me if I’m wrong’ (I so love that phrase! NOT! ;p), you just play all those games because you know that it will at least put a smile (lame way of putting it, more of a laugh than a smile) on people’s faces. Am I good at this or what?! =) And, (hold it, I’m not yet done) this is your way of safeguarding yourself. Look who’s talking. Haha! Ok, just to be fair in calling you a lunatic, I’m calling myself a self-proclaimed bitch. Now we’re even. I may be blatantly stripping you down right now, but remember that this is just me who’s talking. Half the things I write in here aren’t even true?! Haha! I sense stage 4 confusion. Well, let’s just say that I’m good with all your restrictions and what not. Just consider the thought that it’s way too late for all those pretensions. At least to me, it’s not gonna work. I repeat, NOT GONNA WORK. Hope I’ve made myself clear or do I have to repeat it a hundred times more? =)

So far, these are the publishable items I have. As for the others, I think I’ll just.. hmm.. let me think.. letting you know wouldn’t work because I’m aware of how hostile you get sometimes.. So I’ll just probably throw them out of the window. Sweet! =)

still at the ferry in front of ellis island..

ellis island (obviously.. hehhe..)

waiting for the next ferry.. still at ellis island..

foot of liberty..

statue of liberty viewing deck with allan..

statue of liberty viewing deck..

exit this way..

NY from afar..

statue of liberty…

us army air force list at battery park..

eagle statue at battery park..

bull at wall street..

Ever had a wish that you could go back to those times when a simple red balloon eased your tantrums?
When tying your shoelace was one of the hardest things in life?
When going to bed tucked in by your mom was the safest place you could ever be?
When running around the playground was your definition of being free?
The innocence of a little kid that easily erases all the complexities there are?

Ever thought of purposely deserting yourself on an island just to run away from it all?
Where your worries consist of starting a fire, building a shelter or hunting for food?
Extremely tough but glad to be on your own even for a while?

Ever had a wish that you could clear your mind just by closing your eyes and listening to your heart heave?
A moment that would simply wash away all the thoughts surrounding your existence?
A time to breathe in tranquility on top of all the commotions transpiring around you?
A fleeting escape to the austerity of reality?

Well I have… I have been wishing for that even for just a minute or in as plain as a second…

PART 1: Ang sulat ni Ate para kay Bunso
hi kuya! amishu na sobra! kakasad kasi wala na akung makulit dito.. wala na aku mautusan.. wala na aku magulo pag nanunuod ng tv.. wala na aku maagawan na naglalaro ng play station.. wala aku masermunan pag may mga nababagsak na gamet.. wala na aku nasisigawan pag hatinggabi na maingay pa o kaya pag ang aga aga pa ang lakas lakas na ng tv.. wala na aku tigaluto ng pop corn.. wala na aku pinapagalitan pag di nagrereview tas malapet na test.. wala na kung inaasar ng bab(oy)/ban(tot)/ba(ho)..

pero ung mas namimiss ku, ung naghahatid sakyen sa sakayan ng fx o kaya sa parlor.. ung kasama ku naglalakad sa glorietta.. ung tumitingin kung panget ung suot ku.. ung niyayakap ku palage.. ung nikikiss ku ng matagal kahet ayaw nya.. ung kinikiliti ku pag tulog.. ung pinapalo ku sa pwet pag umaakyat ng hagdan.. un pinagtataguan ku tas gugulatin.. ung kumakain ng mga share kung pagkain.. ung inuuwian ku lage ng pasalubong.. ung kasama ku lage manuod ng sine (ung nga lang lageng sagot ku lahat).. ung kasama ku naglalaro sa timezone.. ung nagtuturo sakyen ng dota.. ung baby namen sa bahay.. ung kuya ku..

miss ku na little big brother ku..

ngat ngatz kaw palage ha? alagaan mu si mommy saka si daddy ng mabuti! si mommy wag mu pababayaan ng napapagud ng sobra ha? pag nakikita mung punas ng punas, itago mu lahat ng basahan! hahaha! kaya lang baka ung mga damet naman ni daddy ung ipang punas! wehehehe! si daddy wag mu papayagan kumain ng bawal ha? pagalitan mu pag matigas ulo! kaso wag masyado, baka magtampo.. lumayas! hehehe!

grabe, next year college ka na! bilisan mu ng matapus na kame nila mommy sa pagpapaaral! magvocational ka na lang! ung mga 2-year courses! hahaha! cosmetology, o kaya automobilogy major in vulcanizing! pwede na un! hahaha! ;p joke lang! ;p tas magaral ka sa PLM.. para libre pamasahe saka lunch! ayus un! bigyan lang kita ng P50 araw araw pambili banana que saka soft drinks pang meryenda, may sukli ka pa! makakaipon ka pa nun! wehehehe!

galingan mu sa mga entrance exams mu ha? sana pumasa ka la salle.. sana pag pumasa ka, may pang tuition pa kame! hahaha!

love you kuya! see you soon! mwah mwah mwah!

PART II: Ang sulat ni Kuya para kay Bunso

Ate, ate, ate…… ano ba masasabi ko!? Ang saya naman ng retreat namin… Sobrang dami ng pagkain at kahit papaano masarap naman…. Thanks nga pala sa letter mo…. natouch, natawa, naiyak (sa katatawa joke lang), nakakamiss at lahat na…. uhmmm???

Oo nga nakakamiss ung parating sumisigaw na Jay, ang ingay ng tv mo!!!!, Jay, bukas ka na maggitara!!!, Jay, matulog ka na!!, Jay, tama na yang kalalaro!!, Jay, di ka pa ba magaaral!?…. hahahahah
Nakakamiss ung nanggulo sakin pag kelangan na ako gisingin…… Anu pa ba?
Nakakamiss rin ung, !?!?!?!? kasama ko pag nasa mall, nanlilibre sa akin, nagshoshopping, nanood ng sine, kumakain sa mga bawal si daddy (HEHEH), ung nangugulit sakin kung GF na ako (kahit wala pa!? hehe), ung parating ginugulo buhok ko……. Basta lahat un nakakamiss……. parang ang tahimik buhay ko pag nasa taas……

UHmm!?!? Thanks rin nga pala sa lahat ng un…. sa baon (na sana tumaas na Hehe), sa pagtulong mo sa ilan sa mga projects ko, sa pagbibigay ng load ng internet (kaso ngaun ako na lng hehe), Basta lahat na un….. at higit sa lahat, THANKS FOR BEING MY LITTLE SISTER!!! hehehe

Cge dito na lang……….

LAB U ate…… BABAY

Often times we try to elude the visions of doing something wrong because, well, it is wrong. And by wrong we mean something that is unacceptable to others most of the time rather than to ourselves. The thing is, can we explicitly say that something is wrong? What are the measures of weighing that something is indeed wrong? And if we deem that it is, do we run away from it? Or are we even more enticed by the thought that it is?

The politically correct behavior is to pause, think and walk away. Well at least I believe that most people pause and think about it several times (or even a hundred) before walking away. That is, if they do decide to walk away.  Standing up to do what’s right usually takes a lot of courage. On the other hand, there are those who decide to defy the odds and stay. And this holds true for several reasons such as thinking that the “wrong” can eventually be “right” in” time, or it is wrong but it makes you happy. Either way, it is wrong, so why pursue it? Answer? It’s simply “Because”! No amount of reasoning can level up to it but you do it because you want to. You give yourself a handful of justifications just to convince yourself that it’s ok, that it’s alright. And in a moment, you’ll feel better about it. Until the next flash of reality bites you again.

I am no hypocrite. Let alone self-righteous. I’ve had my fair share of the trade. I’ve heard stories of people sinking in these types of illusions. I ‘suggest’ playing the cards right but hey, it’s still their call. It’s not my style to be adamant about things. More of giving my insights and letting you choose your own ending. Yeah, I tend to cross the street even though I hear a speeding car. However, just about inches before it hits me, I dive for the sidewalk. And that’s how it’s always been.

So there, I said it. Note that no follow up questions will be entertained. But comments are very much welcome.

Nice read: a love story by wshngstr

at a loss for words…

federer vs. lopez…

henin vs. williams…

still in awe…

had a great time…

hope to be back next year…

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I’ve always believed that no matter how sad or tired I am, I can always find solace in the sound of your voice. Your comforting words. I still believe in that. And probably I will always will. (that didn’t sound right. WTH, I can’t even blog right right now. Hahaha!) I tried and I did. But I guess I never found it. I wanted to but I couldn’t. At least not right now. I am not making any sense or am I?

I’m losing it. Brain cells. Dead right. Yeah, they are starting to vanish every minute. Don’t state the obvious! Haha! Crap. This is a bunch of crap!

So what will you bring if you’ll be trapped in a deserted island? A boat! Nice answer! I likeee! Laughs out loud.

To be continued.. (if I ever find my way back to sanity)

I got off from work later than I planned so I had to quickly run through all my remaining to do’s before leaving. Double checked if I was able to pack everything that I needed for my 4 days away from home. And by home, I meant my apartment. 2 bags crammed with all my things? Check! So, off I went. Dang! I forgot to withdraw before I left the office so instead of going straight to the Path, I went back to the office building to do so. Careless deed #1!

Arriving in Path, I realized that I don’t have a loaded Metrocard! So I immediately bought one and skimmed through the crowd. Reaching 14th,I dropped off so I can transfer to a 6 in Union Square. Stopped by a T-mobile store to have my fone reloaded and Duane Reade to buy a couple more things I needed. Dang! I can’t find my Metrocard! Checked my pockets, my wallet, my bag but wasn’t able to find it. Careless deed #2. Left me no choice but to buy another one. Talk about tough luck.

I was dead beat when I finally reached tita liza’s place. I was literally catching my breath. Anyway, I had dinner and long chat with her.

On our way to PA, we passed by the NY Yankee Stadium. I just had to say it. Anyhoo, we kinda got lost on our way to Penn Estate. The supposedly 2-hour drive doubled. So when we finally reached the place, it was almost 2 am.

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Following morning, we headed to Camelbeach water park/ Camelback ski resort. Well, it’s a water park during summer and a ski resort during winter. Neat huh?! 2 words – super fun! Back in the house, we had a barbecue feast for dinner, drinks and long game of Pictionary to cap off the day. We won by the way. On my team – Angel (captain), tita liza, mommy lu and me. The runner ups – tito dan, tita elsie, tita blanchie and tita fem.

Sunday turned out to be a Philly day. We drove for about an hour or so to see the ever famous Liberty Bell and eat the even more famous Philly Cheese Steak. We probably spent an hour and a half exploring the place and learning its history. And another hour and a half standing in line for Jim’s Steaks. Apparently, the place is Philly landmark.

At home, we had another feast but we were mostly tired so nobody stayed up really late.

Last day was a choice between going to a winery or bushkill falls. Since the winery was way far off, we just decided to check out the bushkill falls – Niagara of PA. 2 words – amazing experience!

On our way home, we stopped by Crossings Outlet. I bought 2 whites – a shirt and a sweater.

What a weekend! And I owe it all to tito dan and tita liza. Many thanks! *super hugz*

Oh, and by the way, I found the Metrocard stuck in one of my bags. Geez!

** idea of posting this entry was taken from groaling nala.. *wink*